When Laz showed me that we now have blogs, I knew I was going to use this feature (and I think he did too). I like blogging, it is good to get my feelings and opinions out, and maybe people will understand what is going on in my head. Sometimes I don't even understand.
The thing is as I look back in my time in the Legion, just a couple of years ago I was about to quit this group. I loved doing the haunted house thing, but the groups politics and people were starting to get to me. You see, in some levels in this group I am an outcast. I did not grow up in the suburbs, I did not play RPG games (I did play Vampire with Gary, but that was after high school). I have always been told that I was smart, but Cleveland public schools were easy, so I was always bored, whenever I was moved to a higher level, I always found a way to hold myself back. I never really felt like I could do anything, maybe one day I will explain why.
I have always been two people, normal quiet guy "Ed", and the outgoing crazy guy "Brodie". When I perform at Bloodview, I am normally "Brodie" which is why I chose that to be my knighted name. Nights I act as "Ed" acts like me acting out of whack happen, like the night this season I did "special Ed" and it went wrong. That is what has been cool about being an actor in the Legion, it gives me an outlet for my craziness. In that same token, the things I have seen that were no cool about this group almost lead me to quit it.
The first three years that I was with this group, I saw members yelling at each other, try to use our rules as weapons to hurt one another. I saw a member brought up on charges, members fighting, members talking bad about one another, and people using others as puppets. I also saw a group that in some levels put drama and personal agendas before the "art of the scare". I will admit, I did feed into it to, and trust me, it was hard to stop. Then at the end of my third year, Grim and I got in trouble with the group. Honestly, and I don't even think I told her, I was at a point where I was almost done. I had written my letter of resignation, and I was ready to quit. Not because it was the easy way out, but because I was tired of fighting, tired of the BS.
Then after a chance conversation during a Metro prop run, I rediscoved why I had joined this group in the first place, I realized I had to fight, had to try to make things better, because I realized that this group would never truly be the best again unless people starting to work together. We had to work for a common goal. After that I stood up, took responsibility for my actions, I started down a road that has gotten me to this point.
To this point......2 years later, 2nd term Lord, a sword of honor winner, voted most knightly, the respect of my peers, all because of a simple conversation. A conversation that fired up Grim also, my partner in crime for what we got in trouble for. Her, also now a 2 term Lord, a sword of honor winner, voted most knightly, respect of her peers. I, for one have enjoyed watching us both grow into our roles as Lords, learning from our mistakes, pushing each other to do better, not letting the other fall. That attitude is really growing in this group, and the show is better for it, the sets are better for it, we are better for it. I have found my place in this group, and I at peace with that.
I don't know what the point of this rant has been, I guess it is does not matter where we come from in life, or where we are going, as long as you have people that care, help you when needed, you will always find your way on this path we call life. And no matter how dark things may look now, finding the light may be just as easy as opening your eyes.
Thanks for reading.
- Ed (Brodie) McDonald
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